


Lost Time Gone Forever

by TRANScendtheBInary



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Anxiety Attacks, Basically me projecting my emotions on Lance, Cuban Lance (Voltron), Gen, Hurt Lance (Voltron), Insecure Lance (Voltron), Lance (Voltron) Has ADHD, Lance (Voltron) Whump, PLATONIC OKAY?, Panic Attacks, Sensory Overload, Space Dad Shiro (Voltron), Team as Family, There is a somewhat graphic depiction of sensory overload so yeah be warned, Those tags in the relationships are PLATONIC
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-12
Updated: 2017-09-12
Packaged: 2018-12-26 19:10:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,109
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12065229
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TRANScendtheBInary/pseuds/TRANScendtheBInary
Summary: "It involves knowing what time it is now, how much time is left, and how quickly time is passing."Time Blindness: a lack of awareness of the ticking of time.





	Lost Time Gone Forever

**Author's Note:**

> There is a somewhat graphic depiction of sensory overload leading to a panic attack.
> 
> The beginning of the attack starts at:  
> "Tir Drogah came and went, and Lance was internally screaming."
> 
> The attack ends at:  
> "Footsteps are faintly heard as the room goes black."
> 
> Please take care and avoid this section if there is any risk.

        Space was vast and dark. Brilliant colored galaxies and nebulae scattered between expanses of nothingness. Time does not work in space. There is no such thing as morning and night. The concept of a year depends on what planet they descended to. Time for all intents and purposes was void. For all anyone knew it could have been months, years since the last familiar memories of home. Time had no meaning in space. There were worlds out here trapped in an endless darkness, some so isolated the news of the war hadn't reached them despite 10,000 years having passed.

        Those worlds carried on as usual. There was no deviation, no change, it was routinely the same. Time either moved slowly or not at all.

        T'xme was 3 times the size of earth, with 15 moons. Some of those moons had small colonies living on them. Those colonies remain isolated from the main world being mostly self sufficient using a technology that was capable of converting the rocky ground into soil. Thankfully the planet had no redeeming qualities, at least not ones that would warrant an invasion or takeover. Then again when a planet the size T'xme exists with 3/4 of it being uninhabitable, there's not much reason to actually investigate whether or not it had anything of value.

        The only contact Zaxyarians have with the significantly ahead in time universe is through various traders that stop off at the colonies for refueling. Even then the traders have little to no prolonged contact, staying for a night at the most and sticking to their own groups.

        The Zaxyarians themselves however were a fascinating species having long since evolved to live in the worst of habitats. Being able to pressurize their bodies in the void of space allowed for the development of the colonies quickly and effectively. The few moons that had the proper conditions for breathing helped as well.

        Along with the ability to pressurize their bodies, they are capable of telepathy. Now this isn't exactly unusual for many species. And having come in contact with telepaths before meant that it wasn't a surprise. What made it unique is that they communicated solely through visual images rather than words.

        There weren't too many complicated local customs to memorize. The Zaxyarians being a relative casual species. Any sort of dispute was usually left up to the members involved to deal with. The only rule was that guests must adhere to the colony schedule and any deviation was regarded negatively.

        There was more information but Lance had stopped listening around the time Allura decided to explain their telepathic abilities in detail. Any potential diplomatic faux-pas was a risk he would happily take.

        Shiro as usual was standing in full military attention, a habit Lance figured was a result of the Garrison. Shiro had a schedule, a daily routine. Earth times substituted out for Altean ones, and sometimes even a few Galran ones. The concept of time was one that was ingrained in Shiro's very being. There was no confusion, or fogginess. There was a constant. There was routine. The first week of living in the Castle for most of the Paladins had been a nightmare of adjusting to a lack of sunrise and sunset. However Shiro had almost immediately adjusted whatever constituted for an internal clock and much like Allura was actually awake enough to listen to mission debriefings. There was an air of cool and collected that always followed Shiro, Lance was awed and jealous at the same time.

        Keith was glaring at the diagrams glowing in the center while Allura talked. Lance had quickly figured out that glaring was Keith's default expression. Probably due to his lack of social interactions, living isolated in a desert shack was probably the reason for it. Despite being impulsive, Keith also had a routine. Lance noticed within the first week that Keith reacted to deviations in his schedule explosively. If there was any deviation, you could find Keith beating his emotions out in the training room. For Keith, time was something that should never change. You set a routine and you stick to it religiously. If keeping routine meant a significant loss of sleeping hours then so be it. While he was not a morning person, he threw himself into any task the same way he piloted his lion. That is to say, with laser focus and stubbornness. If there was a task that needed to be done, he got it done with time to spare. Lance hated it.

        Pidge was an enigma. Being prone to nocturnal habits. Definitely not a morning person. The first week had been especially difficult for Lance, and Pidge had surprisingly given Lance a set of noise cancelling headphones. Pidge's routine wasn't so much along a schedule but rather by finish dates. Being one of the two Paladins who actually had a working understanding of the basics of the Lions' technology, and so therefore could actually upgrade them. This meant that any sort of time based deadline was optional (except for major repairs). Pidge ran on a system based on whether or not a project would be finished by the time the rest of the Paladins went to sleep, if not then sleeping was not an option. To Pidge time was simply a guideline, not set in stone, but a goal. If something wasn't finished by that goal then it wasn't a big deal. Of course Pidge was also the reason that Allura had gone into the explicit details of Zaxyarian telepathy, the whole reason Lance was aimlessly looking around.

        Finally there was Hunk. Lance's best friend and co-conspirator back at the Garrison. A genius engineer and brilliant baker, Hunk was a master of beating the system. Anxiety had never stopped him from getting assignments in on time, all while Lance sat staring at the blank page. Lance had once asked him how he did it, getting a simple: I just do, as a response. Hunk was his go to whenever he entered a period of blankness. Of course the fact that Hunk also struggled the first week, anxiety preventing him from getting a full night's sleep, helped Lance feel slightly less isolated.

        "Are you paying attention Lance?" Jerking to face the inquisitive voice of the princess, Lance smiles and winks.

        "Of course beautiful, I could listen to your melodious voice forever." A groan passes around the other Paladins, with a light nudge from Hunk and a snort from Pidge.

        "Good because it is imperative we get access to those supplies." Allura releases them to muck around the ship until descent.

        Lance taps his fingers on his hip as he wanders looking for something to do until they arrived on T'xme, or at least one of the colonies. The sound of his feet on the harsh alien metal floors echoing in the hallway. His fingers begin tapping faster as his irritation grows. The other Paladins were busy with their routines, leaving him alone and bored.

**...**

        _Lance wandered to the training room hoping to forget about everything for a little bit practicing some combat. Not surprisingly Keith was dueling one of the Altean robots. Punch left, duck, swipe up, backflip... it was mesmerizing to watch. In fact Lance had gotten so focused that he didn't realize Keith had finished._

_"What do you want Lance?" Judging from the tone of voice, Keith was working off stress and likely extra frustrations from deviating from their main goal of battling Zarkon._

_"Nothing. Was going to train, but I'll take pity on you and save you from battling all this." Cockily striking a pose Lance wiggles his eyebrows and laughs._

_"Ha. As if. You wouldn't be able to keep up." Keith huffs turning away and getting ready to start another session. Lance realizes that was his cue to leave and does._

        Lance sinks to the floor. Groaning loudly. He begins tapping another rhythm, this time on the floor. He glances at the ticker Allura had provided them all with, barely 5 earth minutes had passed. He sighs and leans his head back.

_Shiro had been discussing mission plans with Allura when he wandered in. He became bored listening to them discuss the supposed schedule they were required to follow, and soon left._

**...15 minutes...**

_Hunk was with Pidge in the Lion Hangers tinkering with a new alien device Pidge had picked up at a local flea market. How Pidge got the cash to pay for it, Lance would never know. Walking in, he sits down picking up a loose screw to fiddle with._

_"Did you take into account the conductivity of the metal used?"_

_Chink. The screw drops to the ground spinning._

_"Yes. Try adjusting the degree by 60. That worked for the old TV I had back in California."_

_Plink. Plink. Plink. Picking up the screw he taps it against another piece of metal absently._

_"Lance stop that. It's distracting," Lance stops, "Thank you. Anyways Hunk if the computer chip here works anything like the processors back on earth, wouldn't adding 12...". Lance zones out._

_"Lance, Buddy, can you stop shaking your leg, it's messing with my ability to properly screw these pieces together." Lance flops back groaning. How long did it take to land a space ship anyways. It has to have been at least a hour already!_

_"Actually it's only been 30 minutes since Allura dismissed us. Go do something if you're bored."_

_"Sorry Lance. Once I'm done here we can do something okay?" Lance smiles and shakes his head._

_"It's cool muchacho, I don't want you to feel rushed with whatever it is you're doing. I'll find something to do elsewhere."_

**...45 minutes...**

        Lance had been sitting in the hallway for 45 minutes. It had been about an hour and a half since Allura had finished the debrief. Lance leans back and closes his eyes. He was exhausted but somehow his body was thrumming with energy. This was a major inconvenience. He couldn't even remember when Allura said to be ready by.

He closes his eyes.

**...**

        "LANCE GET THE FUCK UP!" Lance's eyes shoot open to a face full of emo mullet. Oh great the welcoming party had arrived.

        "Huh...?" He was still a little hazy from falling asleep.

        "We're going to be late if you don't get up NOW!" Keith yells, grabbing Lance by the arm and dragging him up. He sets off at a rigorous pace leaving Lance to jog to keep up.

        "Late for what?" Keith shoots him an annoyed look.

        "We've arrived on the outermost colony of T'xme. Allura said to be ready in 2 Earth Hours. Seriously, she repeated it at least 3 times Lance."

        Lance grimaces. Once again he had managed to lose track of the time. It was immensely frustrating. He continues to mentally berate himself until they reach the entrance of the ship. Allura frowns but is quickly distracted by the usual diplomacy as one of the Zaxyarians approaches them. Lance was surprised to see a fish like creature. Most of the species they'd interacted with where humanoid in some way. But nope an alien that bore resemblance to an eel comes forwards.

        The flash of images following its arrival also shocked Lance, although he managed to avoid showing his shock. However he did soon after see a series of bright colored images that lead him to believe the alien was amused by his thoughts.

        "The Paladins of Voltron and myself thank you for your hospitality. We received the schedule you sent us and have been thoroughly debriefed on it." Wait what? Lance whips his head around to look at Allura. Panic floating across his mind.

        "Don't worry, I'll show you afterwards buddy." Hunk, ever a saint.

"Thanks. Also how long was I actually gone for?"

        "You don't wanna know man. Allura was pissed. Shiro calmed her down and sent Keith to find you."

"Damn." Hunk sends him a sympathetic smile and turns back to the aliens crowding around them.

        Apparently Lance's earlier observation about their appearances was well founded. Almost all the aliens around them bore resemblance to fish. The only difference was the size, lack of gills and the shapes of their fins. Unlike earth fish, these fins looks to be made of scales, sharp and firm. Lance wondered how they could possibly move them.

        An image of the creatures moving around appears behind his eyes. Right. Telepaths.

        Lance had forgotten how difficult it was to be around telepaths. A headache already forming.

**...**

        That evening consisted of dinner at exactly Wyts Drogah, whatever that meant. Despite having spent the rest of the day working out in the fields, Lance was still alert. He had hoped that he would be able to fixate on the field work, but no such luck.

After dinner, Allura warned them to be back in their respective bedrooms by Tir Drogah or risk angering the locals.

Lance left the others and began exploring the colony. Since he had nothing else to do.

        The colony consisted of an open area for the Zaxyarians since they didn't need a pressure specific environment. Around the open area were about 20-30 domed habitats. Each habitat had a joining tunnel that required a whole bunch of steps to pass through. Lance avoided the areas that required wearing his armor. By far the most interesting part of the colony was the Cizyr. Which Allura explained was the library and main social zone for the colony. One of the only areas everyone currently inhabiting the colony actually socialized together.

        The room was huge, at least 10 stories of books above 5 stories of tables and dining areas.

Lance decided to explore the books wandering around the isles humming to himself while picking up volumes at random.

        Tir Drogah came and went, and Lance was internally screaming.

**...**

Time was moving slowly...

 

...Too slow...

 

...He was bored.

 

        He bangs his head back into a wall. Picking up a book he begins to read, eyes flying across the shapes making words.  It's not helping.  He can feel the time slipping away.  

        Grabbing his hair as the room suddenly begins to blur. Bright colors begin to flash in front of his eyes.  Frantic he presses his palms into his eyes, the brief relief passes quickly.  Lance starts to pace down the isles between bookshelfs.  Anything to fill up the gaps left behind by the void of time.

        Suddenly he was hyper aware of every sound and feeling.  His shoes squeak, he takes off his shoes.  His jacket swishes, he takes off his jacket.  The sounds were beginning to seep into his skin.  The hair on his arms stands rigid, goosebumps spreading.

        He claws at his arms, the grinding of his teeth grating in his already pounding head.  

        His vision is blurred even more by a cascade of tears. He bumps into a shelve and stumbles back into the adjacent shelf.  Frustration bubbles in his stomach.  Nausea erupts, and he slides towards the ground.

        Lance curls up into a tight ball, and begins rocking back and forth.  He runs his hands up and down his arms, shaking.  His nails dig into the skin, breaking through, small drops of blood appear.  There's not enough, it's not working.

        The ticking of the time device on the wall, a sharp stabbing pain. The air in his chest becoming painfully constricted. He couldn't breath.

        "ARERRRGGGUUUUGGGGGGHHHHHHH". He screams flinging his head back.

        Footsteps are faintly heard as the room goes black.

**...**

"-nce."

        Blissful quiet. He was floating. There was nothing, and that was okay.

"-ance!!"

        He could hear voices in the distance, but he didn't want to leave the bliss of sleep quite yet. He can feel someone shaking him.

"LANCE!"

        His eyes fly open, blinding light. He groans coughing when his throat screams in protest.

"Oh thank fuck you're awake!" Pidge, he thinks. His ears aren't working quite yet, sounds garbling in the background."

        When everything becomes stable he finds himself staring at the Paladins leaning down over him.

        "W-wh-a-at." Coughing he motions for a glass of water. One is swiftly placed in his hand and he greedily downs it in a few sips. "What happened?"

Everyone looks at each other with concern. Lance can sense something bad happened.

        "Ah... I fucked up didn't I?" Mentally he adds on, Of course I fucked up, Only I could screw up such a simple task. A strong hand is placed on his shoulder stopping his train of thought. He looks up and sees Shiro looking confused.

        "A Zaxyarian found you on the floor in the library, apparently you were clawing at yourself. Lance is everything alright? We weren't able to fully discern what they were trying to tell us."

Lance pauses, tears bubbling up. He refuses to cry in front of Shiro. In front of all the Paladins.

        "Of course I'm fine!"

        "Bullshit. You were screaming in Spanish or something." Keith shoves Shiro aside and clenches his fist. "You kept flinching if someone tried to touch you. The Zaxyarians weren't able to transport you without a sedative!"

        Lance's eyes widen. He hadn't had an episode that badly since he started taking medicine.

        The medicine... damn. With all the excitement of space battles, Lance had completely forgone taking it. Even forgetting to ask if the Castle's synthesizers could replicate it.

        "Lance, you are a part of this team. If something happened and I, we, failed to notice then I am greatly sorry." Allura steps up looking quite frazzled, hair tousled and unkempt. Lance smiles to himself imagining her in a lab coat next to some beakers. Thankfully Hunk comes to his rescue.

        "Guys he just woke up, give him some space." Lance sighs in relief.

        "Very well, but this conversation isn't over." Allura frowns but comes forwards to pat Lance on the shoulder as she and the others depart.

        "Lance I know I promised I wouldn't say anything, but the others are going to find out eventually." Hunk turns away and leaves Lance to himself.

**...**

        The next several days were filled with supply cataloging, treaties and a whole manner of busy work. Lance was released from the infirmary a day after the incident and was thrilled to have something to do.

        The others tried to bring up the issue several times. However Lance waves them off with a simple: "It was a one time deal, don't worry about it. I'm fine now see!"

        They leave the colony, and the isolated planet of T'xme behind.

        Time begins to tick slowly, soon catching up as the timeless void is soon left behind.  Slowly the seconds that pass by cease to stab deep into his chest.

**Author's Note:**

> This story is actually based on my experiences with AD/HD and time. 
> 
> There is nothing more frustrating than having excess energy and nothing to do. Time slipping away is a common occurrence. And sometimes the act of time blindness causes me to hyper focus on time in an effort to counter it.
> 
> I personally headcanon Lance as having AD/HD, so this story covers one of the aspects of AD/HD that not many people think about.
> 
> I'm thinking I'll make this a part of a series of stories about Lance having AD/HD, and maybe have a story with Keith being Autistic. I haven't decided yet.


End file.
